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The Presidential De‘bait’ October 5, 2012

Posted by Mukundhan in kaduppetharaan my laardu, Paalitics & Bijiness, Uncategorized.

The first presidential debate between Obama and Romney might have garnered the numbers, but it did leave the 67.2 Million Indians Global Viewers yearning for more. We understand that the White House, sensing the pulse of the viewers, is undertaking drastic measures to turn the campaign around. We at Jagajaljeera Times have insider information on a few and have listed the top 3 changes that could take place before the second debate on 15th October.

“Changes in a hurry, with Hari”

Alarmed at Obama losing out the number’s game in the first debate, the President’s office, it is believed has approached Hari (the South-Indian director) to provide the much needed support. “Hari Padam Statistics” as it is commonly known in Tamil Nadu is expected to be the decisive X-factor for Obama in the subsequent debates. An anonymous assistant director in Hari’s team claims that the director has already sent relevant scripts (including some on discussion with Murugadoss) printed in dot-matrix printer to the President. “Dot matrix because of the ‘pulli’ vivaram” he clarified.

Don’t be surprised if the President pulls off an “Ongi Adicha Ondra Ton Weight” to add punch to the debate.

Moderator – a ‘model’ solution

“Let us face it, Jim Lehrer just didn’t have it in him”, said a White House Spokesman before revealing that Jim was actually a stop gap arrangement. We have official sources informing us that Gobinath of Neeya Naana fame was the first choice for the moderator position. The Vijay TV star could not however get his VISA on time owing to the issues with the US Consulate in Chennai. Now with the Visa issues sorted and the official Vijay TV blazer / coat stitched, Gobinath is all set to handle the debate with the same ease with which he handles the overly enthusiastic participants of his TV Show.

You want a peace of me….

There are a few suggestions floating around that Obama might just live up to his “Nobel Laureate” tag and win the election the way he won the peace prize, by getting others to do the work for him. In what has to be considered a master-stroke if the news is for real, Obama has plans of packing of Romney onto a field trip with Green Peace associates to collect 1,00,000 signatures to save the forests. “Raam nee, vanavaasam po” is going to be the defining final line of the next debate, experts say.


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