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Murdock blames Maran for News of the World Shutdown July 12, 2011

Posted by Mukundhan in All the leaks, G: Gravity of the Situation, Paalitics & Bijiness, Uncategorized.
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By Mukundhan, who is in a Pun-de-mournium (agitated state of being devoid of puns). Pliss to excuse the repeat puns!

In a startling revelation, Rupert Murdoch today blamed the Additional Deputy Leader of DMK and ex Communication and IT Minister, Dayanidhi Maran for the fall of “News of the World” (NoW). The media mogul addressing a press conference after the disgraceful fall of his favorite newspaper accepted to the allegations of phone-hacking but mentioned that the issue would have not snow-bowled into this crisis had they stayed clear of the 323 phone lines held by the ex-South Indian Minister. “We tapped a line that was barred. Now we are paying a price. After-all bar is a code #tamilpun” he mentioned trying to win an audience with the south Indians. “How were we supposed to know? 323 is not even a prime number” cried out an anguished employee who is believed to have carried out the mathematical modeling for the phone tapping. “This is what happens when you employ more than one hacker to create bugs in a line. It becomes a “हमbugproclaimed a South-Indian hacker currently jailed for bugging Mr. Pranab Mukherjee’s office. It is also believed that in a related development, renowned director and cinematographer K.V.Anand is also being investigated for his alleged involvement in the incidents which is ec’ko’ing the sentiments of all journalists across the world.

Dayanidhi Maran was unavailable for comment, while DMK Supremo, Mr. M. Karunanidhi mentioned that he had more serious issues to worry about like the sorry state of most of his party members in Tihar. Disgruntled by the state of affairs, he mentioned that he is ready to launch an anti-hindi protest all over again to protect the interest of most Tamilians in the New Delhi prison. “The curd was sour and my daughter asked the warden to make more #tamil. He apparently stood there with another cup of curd”, claimed the dis-heartened and slightly sentimental ex-CM and said he took namkeen from Sri Krishna Sweets to help Kanimozhi balance the taste of the sour curd. Suresh Kalmadi, also re-iterated to the sad state of linguistic affairs in the prison. “Even English is not understood properly here. I said “come here” to the jail superintendent and he ended up serving me less snacks than usual during out usual tea break”, he said. “It is quite an in-cell-t” commented Raja who is expecting that his other longtime friends from down south would soon give him company in the prison.

In related news: Actor Surya has moved to court against all the excessive investigative “Jo”urnalism

In totally unrelated news: Congress mastermind a musical quiz comprising of songs deva flicked from the Telugu film industry to tackle the growing fury in Andhra. The program is supposedly going to be named “Tell-en-gana”


Radia had connects with Japanese Corporates; Warned US of leaks – Sources December 2, 2010

Posted by Mukundhan in All the leaks, But our princess is in other castle, Tape CD DVD Rip.
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Nira Radia might have lost all her credibility with the recent incidents, but the US Government would have avoided the current diplomatic crisis had it paid heed to what she told them ages ago. In a sparking revelation, sources reported that Nira Radia had information about the leaks and she even warned the Pentagon about it and its possible ramifications. The Big-shot PRO’s source of information in this particular case is apparently from another one of her high flying clients, Japanese Video Game creators, Nintendo.

Could Katrina's "Sheela Ki Jawani" be the possible cause of leaks??!!

“Nintendo has the world’s most famous plumber in Mario, we know everything about leaks” commented a jubilant Shigeru Miyamoto, creator of Mario. “The United States was badly hit by the Katrina Floods. All the water logging and seepages obviously causes leakages”, added A. Pattabirama who played all levels of Super Mario without cheat codes and ended up getting a score only enough to get him a Civil Engineering seat in a local college in Chennai.

In reponse tothe incidents, the White House and the Pentagon have been working together on a war footing to plug the leaks before it causes more damage. They have hired Indian based company M-Seal to help them with the process. “We are the best in the business. We are a little skeptical of competition from Radia though as we do hear their agenda: Radia TAPES wiki leaks”, commented a sales representative from the firm.

M – Seal, by the way, is not the only beneficiary in the entire issue. Sources say that the Wiki-leaks team have reached out to renowed internet wiz aXXo to create torrents of all contents in the web-page. “Lets rip em apart” commented aXXo in a forum post in Darkside_RG.

Ambassador + Pallava != Ambassador Pallava

There are talks of even hiring consultants to neatly format the contents of the web-page as there have been complaints about readability of the wiki-leaks content. “As part of this assignment, we would neatly convert the thousands of files into Arial, Size 10, 1.5 line spacing, bullet pointed and justified word documents. As a complimentary offer, we would also provide software to convert the docx format to Word 97- 2003 document format”, said a consultant as a summary to what was to be an elaborate 120 slide presentation. Hindustan Motors, however, were stuck in the other end of the spectrum. “The reputation of the ambassadors world-wide has taken a hit” lamented their chief spokeperson.   

Meanwhile, China, in its own typical fashion, has decided to close down “The Great Wall of China” afraid of leaks after the recent down-pour. The chinese government also prosecuted a journalist who took photographs of the civil works happening in the Great Wall and wrongly reported “Chinese wonder going under the hammer”. Mis-interpreting the reporter’s statement, eager to carry out addition subtraction tallying in the auction,  South Indian Actor Radha Ravi has also headed to China.

Word of the day:

Wren-o-vate: When Chinese Government rephrases/ alters verbal communications in line with Wren & Martin Grammar rules