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Frequent Outages! April 5, 2012

Posted by Mukundhan in 1/4 ball, Unintentional Subject References.
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“Distance dhaan problem” said Vadivelu in this legendary piece many years ago. Over the last few months, TN Government has been facing the wrath of that distance from Delhi, the ‘Power’ Centre. Reeling under acute power shortage, the Government has spent days brainstorming to come up with an answer, not for the power situation, but on who to blame for these conditions. While the inaction of the previous DMK regime on the issue and Kudankulam protests emerged as favorites and hit the headlines in leading newspapers, Jagajaljeera Times looks at a few that did not quite make the cut.

‘Blame it on the Educational System says Cho Ramswamy’

There is something about this man that makes people (even Rajinikanth) take him seriously. We, at JT were no different and were all ears when the editor of Tughlak blamed it all on the educational system prevalent in the State. “As a nation progresses, the educational system needs to progress along. But we have taken a step back into Samacheer Kalvi. It is such a joke, you can call it Sama’jeer’ Kalvi” he vented out.

Quickly grasping that the conversation was going tangential to the smooth surfaces of the over-head area of the speaker, we did probe for further information. And that is when Mr. Cho came up with this gem putting an age old practice of remembering physics fundamentals to question. “Ohm’s law is a fundamental concept in electricity and our state lost the plot when the teacher’s taught the students to remember it as ‘Vegetarian = Iyer'”. “Such a gross generalization that takes the KFC chicken eating tambrahms out of the equation” he added. “What potential do you see for a state where the electrical engineers have no consideration for ‘current’ affairs in the community”, he questioned.

Such astute observations could have made headlines and trended in twitter if only someone had identified that Cho Ramswamy anagrams to “Awry ohm scam”. Wasted opportunity, really.

‘It is but a bizarre Japanese game!’ tweets Anand Ramachandran

In what has to be termed as a simple, yet wonderful theory, Anand Ramachandran attributed the power-cuts to an attempt by Nintendo to increase the sale of wii-series in Tamil Nadu. This piece of news could have made S.U.Saravanakumar more famous than Dr. UdhayaKumar, but sigh, the inactivity of @bigfatphoenix in the twitter circuits meant the news fizzled out after catching the eye of just a few of his very avid followers.

“Crazy, Manchester United followers are Crazy” tweets Venkatananth

This @venkatananth tweet surprised us. Quite unexpected from a Manchester United fan that. We approached him for further information and a short and sweet conversation later we had just one lingering thought in mind. “What is the premise for so many people in TN to support Manchester United when its Chelsea football club that has got Cole”. Valid point right? We do not have an answer for that question, but we do know that if there is someone who could do with some load shedding, it is R. Ashwin. That’s a different conversation altogether isn’t it.

“When I just thought I could leave you on that note, I am informed that Jayalalitha in a joint press conference with Sasikala has just attributed the entire problem in the state to “Generation gap” and mentioned that all is well if the old man of TN leaves the scene.”


Will this Chennai Medical College student put a smile on Congress’ Face? June 16, 2011

Posted by Mukundhan in Paalitics & Bijiness, Teething Issues, Unintentional Subject References.
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While Anna Hazare and the Congress still battle to build a consensus on the issues of the Lokpal Bill, a BDS fresher from Sri Ramachandra Medical College, Chennai has added a new dimension to the bill. In a formal appeal signed by the association of “West Indies Supporters involved in Dentistry Occupation in Madras (WISDOM)”, the student has stressed that the following demands be met by the bill:

“Government to undertake measures to ensure perception equality towards MBBS and BDS students”.

While the MBBS students are considered the blue-eyed boys of the campus, we poor souls doing our BDS are only called when there is an issue with Bluetooth connectivity. This inequality has to stop argued the appeal.

“Dentists to be actively involved in Government decisions on the Sethusamudram Project”.
After all it’s a Route Canal issue. And Finally:

“Subash Ghai to direct a movie featuring dentist in a lead character” aimed at reducing the bias shown by the film makers towards
doctors and the sheer ignorance towards dentists. Ghai, with his dental roots was the single choice of for donning the role of the director given his dental roots.

“This new development has shifted the media focus from Ramdev to this little known student down south” mentioned a press reporter. While the reporters shot down a dozen questions on the relevance of the demands to the Lokpal Bill, the little known student from Chennai answered them with absolute ease. “How could you name it Lok-pal (ombudsman-teeth) and not have a section to address our teething issues?” he questioned. “Anna Hazare and Ramdev brush aside breakfast. We just ask you to brush before breakfast” he winked trying to garner support for his movement.

“It’s quite ap-pal-ling the state of education in our country today” mentioned Kapil Sibal in a media briefing. The CBI (Common Board exam Inspectors) have just mentioned to us that this student had missed his medical college seat as he had wrongly defined “Rape” in his Telugu examination and now this is just a selfish pursuit by the individual to force the government to support republicans in the process of re-defining rape so that he could make his cut with a re-evaluation” he said.

“All Pall-aana matters” chuckled a local news reporter.

In Related News:
The Association WISDOM has filed a lawsuit suing HDFC Life Insurance as their tagline is more related to the Dentistry.

Kapil Sibal gets caught at (a) Silly Point!! February 11, 2011

Posted by Mukundhan in Ball Games, Paalitics & Bijiness, Unintentional Subject References.
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Warning: Still rusty from the break in blogging. Pliss to excuse mediocrity!

Students in Chennai today staged a demonstration against the Minister of Human Resource Development, Mr. Kapil Sibal. The apparent overlap in schedules of the ICC World Cup with the State Board Examinations in Tamil Nadu, and the minister being non-responsive to the petitions submitted for postponement of the examinations has been attributed to the frenzy. “In the month of ODIs, who needs Tests”, commented a student amidst chants of “ODI Po” directed at the minister.

The state law enforcement department was taken aback by these demonstrations. “The Chennai crowd is supposedly the most disciplined of the lot. We did not expect this”, said a senior police official. Yuhi Sethu, ace South-Indian Media Representative disagreed though. “The Chennai crowd is two faced. The people who gave a standing ovation for Pakistan were the same ones who named the street Che-Pak”, he said enforcing his eye for detail that he had donned since his Ramana days.

Kapil Sibal, meanwhile, in an attempt to respond strongly, rubbished the demands of the students and pledged to remove any force that deters education in India. As a follow up measure, the minister even banned Pink Floyd in India for their outburst “We don’t need no education”.

Sibal tries to get into a-chord as recent developments have landed him in deep waters!!

The move by the minister, though bold, added fuel to the fire and prompted college students into joining the rally against him. “Does he know that any object, wholly or partially immersed in Waters, is buoyed up by a force equal to the weight (gethu) of Waters??” lamented a student of IIT Chennai. “This is outrageous. He took a dig at Newton when he started investigating the spectrum. Now he thinks he can mess in principle with Archimedes?? We wouldn’t let that happen” vowed another college graduate.

Leader of the opposition, Mr. Advani, when questioned on the developments, smiled sheepishly and murmured “Eureka!”. “Rekha? Where!!”  jumped an excited Big B before being grounded by Jaya while the junior Bachan wondered if “U-Rekha” would have been a better catch phrase than “Get Idea”.

In other related developments: Buddadeb Bhattacharya has passed an order restraining the band Eagles from performing in India as he believes the band’s album “The long road out of Eden” instigated the ICC towards passing the order against the ground.

Sun Pictures gets stay order for release of “127 hours” in India November 22, 2010

Posted by Mukundhan in Aachaaram & Abachaaram, Paalitics & Bijiness, Padam aka Plim, Unintentional Subject References.
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Danny Boyle, well known English filmmaker, might well have lost his love for India. The academic award winning director, it is believed, has been enraged by one of the biggest production houses of South India, the Sun Pictures. The production house has obtained a stay order for the release of Danny’s latest venture “127 hours” in India. It is believed that Danny’s refusal to allow the South Indian Production giant to distribute the movie in India has resulted in this roadblock for the director.  

Sources say that representatives of Sun Pictures met Danny way back in May offering to distribute his movie “127 hours” in India, an offer that Danny refused immediately. “They did not understand the plot of the movie. Just because the movie is based in the mountains, they wanted to name it KAL-ki Kahani (K3). It did not sound inviting enough. I might have considered it had they named it K12. It would have at-least symbolized that I am at the peak of my career”, lamented Danny Boyle.

Kalanidhi Maran said the move was made with a socialistic motive. “Our honorable Chief Minister will be distributing Saris and Dhotis to the people this Pongal. Staying with the tradition of the party, I want to distribute the 127 hours to the time deprived GenNext of India” said Kalanidhi Maran. “They can now use this time to watch our offerings in Sun Direct”, he added clearly showing his acumen to integrate processes in the Entertainment Value chain.    

"Cho Ramaswamy explains to Karunanidhi how naming the Danny Boyle movie Kalki would encourage the middle class tambrams (who provide continuous patronage for the book by the name) to go trekking

“Lesser the volume of your crew, greater is the pressure from other sources. Boyle, of all people should have realized this inverse proportionality”, commented a chemistry teacher from Arpudharaj Matriculation Higher Secondary School. “So this is what everything in South India Boyles down to, is it?” wondered one of his students.

“I don’t understand Danny’s apprehension towards the suggested name. Kalki is a renowned writer in this part of the world and not sporting his name is not going to help with his movie reviews” commented Cho Ramaswamy. Though, Dr. Rajendra Prasad & Yuhi Sethu both disagreed to Mr. Cho’s comments. “Taking a 127 hours movie in 93 minutes signifies relative time in the time-space continuum” quoted Dr. Rajendra Prasad stressing that the prefix to his name is indeed because of his scholarly knowledge. “Yes, Danny swept the Oscars under the red carpet with his Slumdog Millionaire. Time-space continuum with 127 hours would have been a smooth drive down to the Royal Swedish Academy of Science to receive a Nobel or two” agreed Yuhi Sethu, depicting the sweep and the drive as he mentioned those words in his sentence. “Talking of drives and sweeps, if Anjum Chopra played an on-drive, would it be renamed a Pen Drive” he chuckled clearly making his pitch to Vijay TV for restarting his TV Series ”Yuhi udan World Cup” before the cricket edition next year.

As a ripple effect to the entire incident, the FBI has initiated investigations on the monopoly of movie distribution that seem to be developing in South India.  In what is believed to be an under-cover operation, agents would attach themselves to the crew of the movie to carry out investigations. Officials in the Indian Intelligence System are not very optimistic about the success of the operation though. “Danny Crew or Nancy Drew”, wondered a retired RAW officer from Chennai while warming up to crack a different anagram in his Sunday Hindu Crossword.

Would ARR be just playing the music for the Nobel Laureates this year or would he be one of the Laureates, only time would tell!!

In related news: Madan Lal has been approached to provide commentary for the Director’s cut of the movie. Everyone who expected Geoff might as well Boycott the movie.

English Lessons for a Movie Maniac September 25, 2010

Posted by Mukundhan in Unintentional Subject References.
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