Breaking News: Director Mani Ratnam retires from all forms of film-making

Renowned director / writer, Mani Ratnam has decided to call it quits bringing to an end a startling career that showed glimpses of light (often mistaken as the ray of hope) over a substantial dark period. Lauded as an intellect in the film circuits, it is fair to say it has been a steady and silent rise to fame for this director. A visibly distraught Mani made the official announcement today, but not before leaving the media in a quandary with his mono-syllable inaudible announcement. The suspense over the inaudible text were however put to rest by Suhasini who clarified that the reason for the exit was the differential treatment meted out to him by the knowledgeable Chennai crowd.

We at Jagajaljeera times have reasons to believe that the response of the Chennai junta to the Shiva Trilogy and the Fast & Furious 6 movie, both of which are in similar territory as Raavan, as drivers that instigated such a response from Suhasini. Our correspondent analyses the two movies and the book on various aspects:

The premise: Rescuing a damsel in distress / facing Stockholm syndrome

AAA

Theme: Modern Interpretation of an ancient theory

 

BBBCritical elements used


The reaction to the news evoked mixed responses, much like his movies. “The decision was imminent given the recent failures”, said Bharadwaj Rangan regretting not covering the aspect of retirement in his conversations with Mani. “However, the reason quoted is highly inappropriate. Blaming Chennai for his failings, what does he think this is? IPL??” he simmered. The tamil film industry decided to honour Mani’s contribution to the cinema by observing a moment’s silence and by re-christening the “Earth Hour” to “One Mani Hour”. The question “yen” by a curious incumbent in the audience was responded in unison with the answer “Deva”.

Quote / Unquote: “He fasts, he is furious and he should replace Jason Stathan in the next installment” – Anna Hazare Supporters

Tamil Film Industry seeks Government support for ‘Major’ revamp

Superstar’s health, Government Project-esque delays in Kamal’s film releases and an overall transition phase with veterans departing the scene and the next generation not taking up the mantle has left the Tamil Film Industry in deep crisis. Even the ‘Kohli Sentiment’ (that used to make wonders in the 90s) that is currently helping Team India (in a similar situation) seems to have failed in providing the Industry with a much needed hit for the year. The glitz and glamour of Kodambakkam has faded out considerably and is reflecting in the dwindling number of film-star marriages that have happened at Ragavendra Kalyana Mandapam.

Desperate to pull the industry out of the crisis, the producer’s association has decided to take the Major Sundarrajan route and make bilingual movies (obviously in Tamil and English). “The idea of talking in English and immediately translating to Tamil (spearheaded in the past by Major) helped the industry cater to the urban and rural population alike. This seems to have gone a begging in the recent movies.” said a producer suggesting a director combo of Gautham Vasudev Menon and Rasu Madhuravan in the future. Rajagopalan of the VETA fame couldn’t agree more and said he was ready to pen the dialogues in such movies in the future if need be. Director Mani Ratnam however had his disagreements with the concept and said “subtle text” trumps over “sub-titled text”.

Undeterred by minor disagreements, the Producer’s association has gone ahead with the first project under this scheme – “Arrear (Badava Rascal)” a movie on six Iyer boys who are sent to Rasipuram after failing their IIT JEE. Badava Gopi plays the male lead while the female lead is rumored to be Blaise Pascal’s grand-daughter Puola Rascaul. The association is believed to have approached the Government for some assistance. “They wanted us to make some policy changes to bring back music director Deva, a veteran of Foreign Direct Investment in the Entertainment Sector” said a government spokesman. “They wanted to avoid any major flaws in the minor chords”, he added. The other bit of financial assistance was to travel to Australia for a song shoot. “Times like this do demand for some aus-territory measures” they seem to suggest.

Is this change what Vijay suggested he was waiting for?? Only time will tell.

‘P’J

Plaha! Pitching on a pressing problem is a player posted as both Punjabi and Poet by web’s popular pages. This paleness, plagued by poor planning, is perdition of personal priorities, now punished, perished. However, the paajis with their privy paraphernalia stand persistent and have promised pranks that would pave way for prime preaching policies putting personnel from their painful and perennial pile of problems. The only provision is procrastination, a postponement plied as a polymorphism, the proof of precision of which shall one day reduce predicament of the precious and the priveleged. Proudly, the phonetic plethora of postulations prowls so profound, so let me clarify that the post isn’t about pushing the players to the physio’s purview but more about putting them through their peak quandary of pleading to Pee!!

PS: The author has always wondered what players do if they wanted a quick bathroom break!!

PJ of the day:

Q: What did the twitter fanatic, chemistry loving blogger tell his followers about his take on V for Vendetta?

A; PV = RT

Quick Gun Murugan II – Children’s List

STORYLINE:

Quick Gun Murugan is a vainglorious and greedy Customer Desk Operator who becomes unlikely hero amid the barbaric mobile operator reign when he feels compelled to bring about reforms in the mobile communication sector.

TAGLINE:

Mobile Number Portability is the need of the hour!!

PLOT SYNOPSIS:

During the season of changing of the service operators, spurred by the Mobile Number Portability, Quick Gun Murugan (henceforth referred to as QGM), a successful English literature graduate, arrives from Arputharaj Matriculation School in hopes of using his unique literary sense to land a job. QGM, a literary genius, unleashes his command over the language to land a job as a customer desk operator. Sponsored by the mobile operators, QGM tortures many customers and drives them to a point of changing operator base out of frustration. Meanwhile, the CEOs of the mobile operators in the market convene to bring about a policy of charging for smses and other services and revoke all free schemes extended to the users earlier. Frustrated by the inability to send a sms to Mango Dolly on Valentine’s Day because of zero balance and the set sms charges, QGM vows to liberate the people from the tyranny of the barbaric mobile operator reign. QGM then submits a written petition to ex-telecom and communications minister, Mr. Arun Shourie and seeks his help. Based on the advice of the minister, he then chalks out a list, “Children’s List” comprising of “skilled” students. Almost all students on the Children’s list who possess skills like Mobile Addiction, smsing while biking, updating fb status and twittering from iPhone are then ported to BSNL. The rest of the movie handles the cold war between the private mobile operators and QGM.

Arun Shourie & Ben Kingsley - Same Guy!!

TRIVIA:

There were major deliberations on naming the lead character of the movie “Filmfare Murugan” in an attempt to bag the award. The idea was later junked as the film-makers were told that the Oscar and Filmfare have completely different selection criteria and promoting the Award Ceremony through a character name just wouldn’t cut it..

MEMORABLE QUOTES:

QGM: Today is history. Today will be remembered. Years from now the young will ask with wonder about this day. Today is history and you are part of it. A few years ago when elsewhere AT&T were footing the blame of their financials on their CFO, the Indian Government told the mobile operators they could have their own cost structure. They came. They charged the students for smses on special days. They settled. They took hold. They prospered in business. With nothing they came and with nothing they flourished. For so many years there has been this injustice. By this evening those years will be a rumor. They never happened. Today is history.

Arun Shourie: Let me understand. They (people) put up all the money. I do all the work. What, if you don’t mind my asking, would you do?

CEO, Airtel India: I’d spend an obscene 300Crores to make sure it’s known the company’s in business. I’d see that it had certain panache. That’s what I’m good at. Not the work, not the work… the presentation.