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New Star Vijay in the (mental) block December 27, 2013

Posted by Mukundhan in Geography of Accident, History of Incident.
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Desperate to overcome the stereotype of conceptualizing programs inspired by the Hindi counterparts, playing the same movie over & over again and awarding Santhanam for being the best comedian each year, Vijay TV has lined up a few innovative concepts that they believe would keep the audience riveted to the channel in the coming weeks. Jagajaljeera Times correspondents, having spent considerable time in the proximity of the Vijay TV office stuck in the none-come-back-um traffic, bring first-hand information of these developments.

Marghazhi Maha utsavam – Super Singer Mashup
A panel with the likes of Sankarabaranam Sankara Saastri, Sindhu Bairavi JKB and Bilahari Marthandam Pillai judging a pitch presentation of Aruna Sairam or a “well” played (Harris Jeyraj esque) rendition by Bombay Jaishree. And all this served with some break-time banter between Sanjay Subramanyam and Yuhi Sethu on cricket, life and everything else. The proposed “Marghazhi Maha Utsavam – Super Singer Mashup” is already crying out for a TRP rating of MMUSStt watch.

While the response to this mouth-watering prospect has been predominantly positive, there still are a few doubters. O S Arun, despite the oozing positivity in his initials, has questioned the commercial viability of mainstream Carnatic music. There are also some hushed criticism and doubts surrounding the inclusion of Shobha Chandrasekhar among the singers: Sequel or Squeal #YouPrefer tweeted an angry Balamurali Krishna.

Nonetheless, we at Jagaljaljeera Times feel it is still definitely a better prospect to watching a program judged by TR. No one wants to hear comments like “Nee podra gamakam. Malli poo superaa gamakum” right???!!

Oru Varthai Oru Latchiyam
Thinking about it now, given that Vijay TV and Prometric Test Centre share the same compound, it is a logical that James Vasanthan’s short yet successful game-show would now feature GRE Word List. With a promise of “Visa Application filling assistance” and “Pass to break the queue at the US embassy” for the winners, this program is sure to appeal to the final year college grads. “My road to Rhodes, Memphis” said a jubilant Engineering Graduate before quoting a trivia about the place – “Memphis is a dry region you know. You see Memphis Raines – Gone in 60 seconds” he chuckled.

The Vijay Maps App
“In a season of AAP and App, Vijay TV does not want to feel left out” mentioned a jubilant Gobinath as he unveiled the Vijay Maps App for Android Phones. Highlighting the features of the app, he mentioned that the map has incorporated all promises made by the “Land / Property Bazaar” shows conducted by the channel including key elements like Porur being the central hub of the city and Kanchipuram being just 10 Kms from Chennai.

Sources from the television channel mention that a couple of yester year mega-serial actors would be roped up for this filler event and that they would judiciously provide a detailed account on using the application and eventually making some investment in it.


Breaking News: Director Mani Ratnam retires from all forms of film-making June 3, 2013

Posted by Mukundhan in kaduppetharaan my laardu, Padam aka Plim.
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Renowned director / writer, Mani Ratnam has decided to call it quits bringing to an end a startling career that showed glimpses of light (often mistaken as the ray of hope) over a substantial dark period. Lauded as an intellect in the film circuits, it is fair to say it has been a steady and silent rise to fame for this director. A visibly distraught Mani made the official announcement today, but not before leaving the media in a quandary with his mono-syllable inaudible announcement. The suspense over the inaudible text were however put to rest by Suhasini who clarified that the reason for the exit was the differential treatment meted out to him by the knowledgeable Chennai crowd.

We at Jagajaljeera times have reasons to believe that the response of the Chennai junta to the Shiva Trilogy and the Fast & Furious 6 movie, both of which are in similar territory as Raavan, as drivers that instigated such a response from Suhasini. Our correspondent analyses the two movies and the book on various aspects:

The premise: Rescuing a damsel in distress / facing Stockholm syndrome


Theme: Modern Interpretation of an ancient theory


BBBCritical elements used

The reaction to the news evoked mixed responses, much like his movies. “The decision was imminent given the recent failures”, said Bharadwaj Rangan regretting not covering the aspect of retirement in his conversations with Mani. “However, the reason quoted is highly inappropriate. Blaming Chennai for his failings, what does he think this is? IPL??” he simmered. The tamil film industry decided to honour Mani’s contribution to the cinema by observing a moment’s silence and by re-christening the “Earth Hour” to “One Mani Hour”. The question “yen” by a curious incumbent in the audience was responded in unison with the answer “Deva”.

Quote / Unquote: “He fasts, he is furious and he should replace Jason Stathan in the next installment” – Anna Hazare Supporters

Consultancy Firm prepares Vision 2025 document for Test Cricket January 2, 2013

Posted by Mukundhan in Uncategorized.
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A globally renowned consulting firm today released the Vision 2025 document outlining the broad strategic framework to save Test Cricket from its impending abyss. The publication was released today in a jazzy event organized by the BCCI, who at last seem to have realized the pressing need for the crumpled fabric of Test Cricket. Addressing the media on the context of the visioning exercise, BCCI chief N.Srinivasan said “Clearly you need seasoned consultants to resolve a format issue”.

The project head of the consulting firm said that the firms understanding of the ground realities and the translation of that into a pitch document, led to the project win. He further expressed his optimism on the success of the visioning exercise given the expertise that was roped. “We sourced retired professionals from the Tirupur factories because after-all Test Cricket was dyeing”, he chuckled before going on to state that the firm would play no role in implementation of the proposed recommendations in line with their company policy.

While this initiative to draw up a vision was welcomed, there was section of the crowd which questioned the means and decided to protest. They held up a banner: “BCCI wants consulting from 30000 Ft. Vlookup (not!)”. We gather the protestors are seeking legal help to declare the vision null and void. Apparently nothing can save test cricket like a solid defense.

Meanwhile, we learn from sources that ex-chancellor of Anna University, Mr. Balagurusami has been pretty vocal on the whole issue and recommends “Tests be renamed to exams” to improve seriousness and focus. Sema-stare wonly!!

Happy New Year Folks J


2012 in review December 31, 2012

Posted by Mukundhan in Uncategorized.
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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 6,200 views in 2012. If every person who reached the top of Mt. Everest viewed this blog, it would have taken 10 years to get that many views.

Click here to see the complete report.

Ranganathan Street Conferred Padma Shri. WADA alleges doping scandal. October 24, 2012

Posted by Mukundhan in kaduppetharaan my laardu.
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In a bizarre turn of events, the Government conferred the Padma Shri to the famous Ranganathan Street in Chennai. In a carefully released statement, the PMO office declared that the street has been conferred the title for the significance it holds in unifying the entire population of Chennai during the festive period. The State Government too appreciated the move and said that now Chennai could have its very own Vaikunta Ekadasi with the doors opening onto the Sorga Vaasal of Shri Ranganathan this Diwali.

The jubilation is expected to be short-lived however as WADA alleged doping scandal and declared the title null and void. “The street is an addiction and the cause for spread of Parkingsons (Common among sons brought as Chauffeurs to avoid parking hassles)  in the City” said a statement in the agencies website. “WADA PAVes the way” said a resident of the area with hopes of some reprieve. Some sections of the shopping crowd however were in strong objection and cried foul – a clear move by the North (WADA) Usman Road against South Usman Road” they said.

The traffic police, irrespective of the WADA decisions, have gotten onto their task of devising plans to regulate traffic in the area. The list below is a sample of the expected regulations this year:

1. Nalli, Pothys and Saravana Stores to be avoided:  Terming the three as the vertices of the Bermuda Triangle, where people get sucked in for just buying a certain type of shorts, people have been asked to express extreme caution while approaching these stores.

2. Push-carts to your door-step:  The police commissioner quickly shunned the online shopping debate and said shop-owners can bring clothes to the door-step of the consumer in push-carts – for old times sake. People however are skeptic for they feel “Push-cart owners are kada-thall mannars” and the safety of the city could be compromised.

3. Eat Healthy, Shop Easy: The only known way to reduce traffic in T.Nagar has been through Subways. So the local administration have signed up a few sub-way stores in the region. The multi-national outlet has also decided to take a few steps to localize its menu.  “We serve you the grandmother platter starting with our sub of the day – Aloo Paati” the store manager said.

It is all shaping up to be one cracker of a Diwali nonetheless 🙂 Happy shopping you all 🙂